Hi folks<\/p>\n
The coronavirus shut down means my taxi cab is off the road but I\u2019m determined to keep my Sound Off online. Think of me like as a slightly less fit Joe Wicks.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m doing my bit for the nation\u2019s health as well. I\u2019ve parked my cab in the garage for as long as it takes but it would be bad for my own health to keep my sound offs to myself. Did you know there\u2019s research that shows the pressure from holding in a sneeze is enough to burst your eardrum or cause an aneurysm? I reckon I face the same risks from holding in my thoughts and opinions.<\/p>\n
All off which makes my family the front line workers for my sound off health. Instead of zooming through town with passengers in my cab (Yeah. Ok. I\u2019m taking a bit of artistic licence here) I\u2019m Zooming through shut down with my mum and dad. They\u2019ll deserve a neighbourhood clap after a few weeks of my shut down sound offs.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s my first Zoom Shut down sound off\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere to mum?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHah. You wish. I promise you\u2019ll be my first fare when I\u2019m back in the cab…whenever that is…and I\u2019ll take you there\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m well thanks. The only time I don\u2019t feel well is when I\u2019m watching the news.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel a tickle in my throat as soon as Sophie mentions coronavirus so I\u2019ve stopped watching it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNetflix and Good Morning Britain with the lovely Lorraine. The lockdown doesn\u2019t seem so bad with Lorraine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI haven\u2019t set up Zoom wrong. It\u2019s habit to talk facing this way. It just feels more comfortable for me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not turning round. This is a preventative measure, like social distancing.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. I\u2019m not being daft. Think about it. You\u2019re worried about getting cabin fever if you\u2019re locked in the house for too long, right?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I\u2019m worried about cabbie fever.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is a real thing. If I\u2019m off the road too long I get all fidgety and restless and start sounding off to myself. You know a bit like Robert de Niro in my favourite film ever.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTaxi Driver, of course. What else would it be?\u00a0 And you know a few punters have actually said to me the back of my head is my best feature.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell. I take it as a compliment. It\u2019s hard to look good from behind.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. I do look pretty good in my blog picture.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey. It wasn\u2019t that long ago I looked like that. I gave the guy who drew it a photo from a couple years back.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOk. Maybe three. But everybody does the same thing online. I call it the Epixel of youth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a play on words. You know like the Elixir of Youth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOch. Forget it. My banter is wasted on you. Do you know you get options to tart yourself up a bit on Zoom. You should try them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cJust a wee dig. And I\u2019m still allowed those even after forgetting Mother\u2019s Day.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI said sorry. I lost track of dates with all the Coronavirus stuff going on. You should be grateful though.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou should. I bet Boris Johnson\u2019s mum wishes he had forgotten Mother\u2019s Day instead of promising to pop round with a bunch of flowers during a pandemic.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. I\u2019m sure she\u2019s fine. I think he realised after all the flack he took it wouldn\u2019t be the best example to set the nation. My bigger worry is that he\u2019s made the epidemic doctor, what his name\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah. Whitty. Chris Whitty. He\u2019s got the coronavirus too.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHe looks a lot geeky. I\u2019m not sure I\u2019d get much banter from him in the back of my cab. But the world needs more people like him. I want somebody clever and quiet in charge at the moment. What\u2019s that line from the Bible…\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo. The bible is not one of my strongest subjects but as I was about to say… \u2018Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m not getting all religious. What I was about to say before you interrupted again is that it should be updated for the mess we\u2019re in just now.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTo \u2018Blessed are the Geek: for they will find the way to stop coronavirus\u2019. We need the Geeks.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot like him. He\u2019s a baddie geek. He\u2019s a like a Bond villain with an evil plan for world domination. We need a good geek.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLike James Niven.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNooo. You\u2019re thinking of the actor. You wouldn\u2019t count him as a geek. James was the Medical Officer of Health for Manchester during the Spanish flu outbreak after the First World War. He was the first person to enforce preventative measures to stop the spread of disease.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNot many have, but was clever and quiet. His geekiness saved thousands of lives in Manchester.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell I know a lot more about the city of Manchester than I do about the bible.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cFunny you should say that. The Taxi Board Game guys think it would make an interesting edition too. Oh. That\u2019s our Zoom time up. Enjoy your Zoom Zumba and remember to use Zoom\u2019s epixel of youth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy banter\u2019s wasted on you. I feel cabbie fever coming on. Stay healthy mum.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hi folks The coronavirus shut down means my taxi cab is off the road but I\u2019m determined to keep my Sound Off online. Think of me like as a slightly less fit Joe Wicks. I\u2019m doing my bit for the nation\u2019s health as well. I\u2019ve parked my cab in the garage for as long as …<\/p>\n