Sound Off Sam recently reached it’s first anniversary. I have to say, it’s been an interesting year to write a Blog for the guys at Taxi! Board Game.
Admittedly, my chronicles as a cabbie during a pandemic are unlikely to have the same historical significance as another famous diarist called Sam, whose peeps into life during the English Restoration became one of the most important historical sources of the great events, including the Plague, that occurred during that period.
My blog may be more Adrian Mole than Samuel Pepys but I still like to daydream in a long wait at a taxi rank that, years from now, a conscientious historian will stumble across the archives of the Taxi! Board Game blog page and Sound Off Sam will be heralded for it’s Everyman insights into lockdown life. I occasionally drift away from the boredom of driving downtime by imagining tourists flocking to a museum dedicated to the Coronavirus Chronicles of a Cabbie. I’ve even thought what the exhibits would be: loo rolls, fashion face masks, repeats of Lorraine on a continuous loop, interactive Zoom calls, a replica of Queen Lorraine II and, of course, a wide range of Taxi! Board Games for visitors to play.
My daydreams of immortality were disturbed recently with a rare fare. We reflected on the past year. Read on for my latest Sound Off, Cabbie-Punter privilege applied as usual…
“Oh! Sorry, sir. I was away in a different world.”
“Yeah, I’m working. Hop in.”
“Where to today?”
“We’ll have you there in no time, even in rush hour”
“No, I wish. No such thing during lockdown. Just lots of hush hours.”
“Thanks, I like to think of myself as a bit of wordsmith. I actually do a bit of writing.”
“A Blog for my sponsors at Taxi! Board Game.”
“It’s a light hearted mix of my personal life, insightful Sound Offs and Lorraine Kelly,”
“Yeah. From the morning telly.”
“Well, she’s just lovely. British Broadcasting royalty. Now there’s a vacancy in the Royal family they should offer the position to Lorraine. Make her Royal status official.”
“Ha-ha. It looked they just warmed him up for the cameras. I reckon they’ve been told there’ll be no refund on the venue and catering so they’re keeping him going for his 100th birthday bash.”
“Nah. Don’t worry. Having a laugh isn’t treason. After the year we’ve all had, we’ve got no choice but to look for the funny side of life, especially when clowns are in charge.”
“No, not much sympathy. I know they were difficult decisions and I’m big enough to admit to mistakes I made at the start.”
“Panic buying. I used my stockpile of loo rolls but I’ve still not touched the cartons of UHT milk and the 6 pack of Spam so I get mistakes can be made but I wrote in my Blog right at the start that the clowns should have stepped aside and let the clever ones take charge.”
“The most clever. Chief Geek, Chris Whitty.”
“He definitely is. I can’t imagine having banter with him about Prince Philip. But Geek is a compliment. Blessed are the Geek: for they shall protect us from Coronavirus”.
“Err. Not exactly. Sound Off Sam Para 4 Blog 2. I borrowed from the bible though.”
“I think he did all he could. We’d definitely be in a much worse place if Bozo and Cocko the Clowns had been left to it. Just look at what happened in America.”
“I know. Watching him at a Coronavirus press conference was scarier than watching the creepy Clown from It. I still owe my mad Uncle Hamish a personal apology after comparing Trump to him in one of my Blogs.”
“Yeah, really unfair. But Trump’s horror show made our circus act look harmless in comparison.”
“Ha-ha.! Yeah and honking on one of those old fashioned horns. I remember saying to a punter it’s a taxi driver’s privilege to do U-turns but if I drove as erratically as those clowns in charge I’d lose my cabbie licence.”
“I’m getting a sense of Deja-Vu. I predicted an A-grade for my Taxi Exam re-sit!”
“Good question. Based on the evidence…I’d give them a D.”
“No, that includes the work on the vaccine roll-out. And they’re only getting good marks for that because they got somebody cleverer to do their homework.”
“The NHS. They all deserve an A-grade for the last year and a fair pay rise. Right, here we are.”
“That’s very generous of you. I enjoyed the banter too. You never know. We may just have written history.”