Sound Off Sam 1

Welcome to my first Sound Off.

My name is Sam. I think of myself as a personal transport professional. Like every cabbie I have an opinion on every subject so I was chuffed and, I must admit, a wee bit surprised when the guys at Taxi Board Game invited me to share my taxi cab sound offs online. I agreed but only if I could maintain strict professional ethics, like doctors and lawyers have to.

So, my Sound Off blog for the Taxi Board Game will keep cabbie punter privilege – what a punter says in the cab stays in the cab – and still allow me to sound off to even more people!

So here’s my first online sound off from a recent cab conversation I enjoyed. Cabbie punter privilege maintained…

“Where to Sir.”

“Righto. Leith Links. Here we go. Won’t take us long today. The roads are quiet.  This Coronavirus is unbelievable. I’ve never seen anything like it before. I’m used to helping people into the back of my cab with all their shoppings bags but you know things are taking a turn for the worst when you’re helping load the cab with bog rolls.”

“Yeah. Everybody’s gone a bit mad with all this panic buying and stockpiling. There’s only so much pasta anybody can eat even if you are self isolating for two weeks. I must admit though I got a bit carried away as well. I’ve not told anybody else this yet…I bought two cartons of UHT milk. That’s to stay between you and me.”

“Absolutely. People  have gone way overboard. You know what they should be panic buying though.”

“That too. But something even better. Board games.”

“Yeah. Board Games. Think about it.  If you’re stuck at home with your family for two weeks then just sitting on the sofa and binging on box sets will quickly get boring. And if we’re all at home streaming on Netflix then the broadband will overload and we’ll all  be sitting there staring at frozen screens.”

“Rationing data. Interesting. Do you think they can do that? I wouldn’t  mind. I love board games. A couple of episodes on Netflix, a plateful of a pasta and playing a board game. That’s a pretty good night in and will see you through 2 weeks in self isolation no problem.”

“I know. And social distancing is the other one. Last year it was all Brexit, Single market, and Customs Union. Now the news is all Coronavirus, Self isolation and Social Distancing.”

“Well, the partition helps with social distancing. I keep it closed all the time now. I prefer talking with the partition open but I can keep chatting on the intercom. We all have to make changes as wee Nicola keeps  telling us. For me, being friendly is part of the service so I’m not stopping the banter.”

“Yeah, most people are friendly like you. I had Lorraine Kelly in the back of my cab once. She’s a wee smasher. All I’ll say is she deserves the crown of Queen of Morning Telly. I would happily spend 2 weeks in self isolation with Lorraine.”

“Careful.  If anybody says anything against Lorraine I stop the cab and kick them out.”

“Come on. Wake up. Green means you can go. Sorry about that, Sir.”

“What did you say?”

No. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t drop anybody off here.”

“Hibs play at that stadium. And see the cemetery there. The manager of the Hibs team that won the Scottish Cup in 1902 is buried there.”

“I do as a matter of fact. His name is Dan McMichael.”

“Nice of you to say so. I’m no Fred Housego but I like to think I know a thing or two of interest that makes a journey in my cab a bit more interesting for my punters.”

“You don’t know who Fred is! He was the cabbie who back in the day became famous when he won Mastermind.”

“Hmm. You’ve got me thinking. 1980 I would say.”

“I would do alright I reckon. I bet even Fred doesn’t know there used to be until 1923 two teams in the Scottish League with Hibernian in their name.”

“No. Not many people do. The other team was Dundee Hibernian. Now known as?”

“Yep, you’re right. Dundee United. And do you know who United’s loveliest fan is?”

“Naw. She is lovely but I’m not sure Kylie is a Tangerine. No. United’s loveliest fan is the even lovelier Lorraine Kelly.”

“No. That’s not for me.  The only black chair I feel comfortable in is this one. It’s not the same without Magnus anyway.”

“Develop a Board Game. Funny you should say that. Here we are. Leith Links. That’ll be £2 please sir.”


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